1.10: Gremlin removal
As Billie walked to the front, he explained everything to the other children, “See, you’re not the only ones in trouble. We junior managers have our reputations on the line too. But I have a plan on how I get out of here and onto a really good assignment; maybe as a manager on the factory floor. And if you follow me, and do everything I tell you, you might one day get to say you know a real senior manager!”
At the podium, Director McHatton was listing the various undesirable tasks that each team could choose from, “We have the duty of sewage detail, solvent room waxing, ceiling dusting, and of course the most honorable and dangerous of all, gremlin removal.”
The last one made all the gnomes shudder. Gremlin removal was a dangerous business, especially since gremlins were naturally gifted in making crude, and often shoddy, weapons and traps.
Gremlins were a horrible infestation in Batch Productopia and all over 9-Theta. They were known to sneak into efficient places, build nesting communities, and steal resources. Often, their nests were in less-populated places, where they would use scrap supplies to fashion weapons, shelters, and booby-traps. Every year, at least a couple of gnomes died or became severely injured because they stumbled onto a gremlin nest.
Without warning, Billie shouted, “We volunteer for gremlin removal Director McHatton!”
“Wait, what did he say?” asked Sammoth, “Did he say we volunteer?”
Mag stuttered, “I…I…want to go home.”
Everyone, including Director McHatton seemed in total disbelief. No one had ever volunteered for such a dangerous mission.
McHatton looked down at his senior managers for an explanation, and then he stumbled for words “You mean… you volunteer?”
McHatton’s look of confusion was soon overpowered by a look of pride, and he announced to everyone, “Do you see this! This is dedication to production! The rest of you sorry lot should learn from this example. This young gnome has leadership written all over him!”
Billie winked at the children, who were still in total disbelief.
Little time was spared, and the other groups were assigned their own horrible assignments. But, gremlin removal was different than sewage detail or solvent scraping. Those were dirty jobs, but they weren’t necessarily dangerous. Gremlin removal was dangerous, and it was not unlikely that the children would complete their assignment unharmed.
The five children and Billie were led to a far, abandoned, and dimly lit section of the factory town, known as the "Lower Assembly Floor". Several other Gnome Resource managers joined the group, including McHatton. As they neared the destination, the children overheard McHatton congratulating Billie.
“Well, they may have been wrong about you boy. I have never seen a junior manager volunteer for gremlin removal. Listen, if things get bad in there, don’t hesitate to leave your workers in there to fight as you flee the battle. We would hate to lose someone with your skills for management.”
Billie put his hand on the manager’s shoulder and looked him sternly in the eyes, “I don’t like to think of it as ‘leaving my team behind’. Labor and material are both inputs in production. If we lose a gnome or two to remove gremlins, it is no different than if we use wood to make a table.”
McHatton simply glowed at Billie’s response and patted Billie’s back. “Good lad!” was all the old director could muster through his radiant pride.